Seems to us that if you’re aiming to change (negative) perceptions of yourself by the general public that the last thing you’d want to do is get involved in a new reality series. Well leave it to our precious Paris Hilton to go in the opposite direction of logic. Her new reality series, The World According to Paris, premiered on Oxygen last week and the ratings verdict is in: “Bomb.” The series debut drew in an abysmal 400K viewers, but despite the initial numbers, Paris remains confident it will strike a chord with viewers. May not want to hold your breath. Critics panned the series saying that what should be damage control for a career that was maligned up until the point that people stopped caring about it, is instead just reinforcement of the pampered princess, mean girl image that so many have of Paris. (Holy backfire, Batman.)

On the show, she just can’t hide her slew of negative traits. Some highlighted moments include being painstakingly rough on her assistant, explicit hypocrisy like when she narrated, “I’m known as a party girl, and I’m really trying to change my image,” as a scene of her dancing in a club, complete with fast-edited images of drinks being poured is shown, and on her way to serving community service, she moaned, “Am I gonna be working with, like, convicts and, like, prisoner people?” And then there were the dull squabbles with her boyfriend Cy Waits, which only serve her own ego (“It’s not my fault if people are still obsessed with me!” whined Paris of a persistent gentleman caller). Better luck next week, Paris, but go on with your bad self in a teeny bikini, leather fringe vest, and hot pair of over-sized Fendi shades, available in four frame hues.  –rpuccia

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